I got chris browned last night
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Randomize
