we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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