come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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