Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
