She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
