I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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