Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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