Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
