It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
