I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
What drink are we having for lunch?
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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