I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
