Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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