Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize