Already got asked if we're dating
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
