tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
