I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
