i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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