I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
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