the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
