In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
