If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
