The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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