capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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