It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
