awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
