He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
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you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
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You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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