Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
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