Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize