I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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