He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
