I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize