The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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