Yo dont text me then not text me
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
