If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
