If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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