I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
