He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
