You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
