ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
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the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
We have so much sex to catch up on
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thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
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