i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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