I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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