Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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