Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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