Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
