I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
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Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
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I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
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