By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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