Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
