VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
