Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Use "feeling words"
Yay
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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