I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
