Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
