I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
