I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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