You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
