she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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