haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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