No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
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